Thoughts through Time

My name is Jense.
I'm confused. A little bit.
I've thought about this when I was younger. Like, 15 or 16. I thought I really wanted it. I wanted to do it. I was set on it.
Then, 17 or 18, I thought "There's no way. No way. No how. Can't. Won't. Think again, Pal!"
Now, 19, I'm thinking again. "Seriously? Someone like me? I can't do this! I mean, I'm just... me! Just me! You know me! Better than I know me! And I know I can't do it!"
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No. Can't.
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Maybe?
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But, You know me.
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Is this what I'm suppose to do?
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Look, will You just tell me and stop messing with my head and dreams???
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Just tell me what to do.
And I'll do it.