Through Different Eyes

My name is Jense.
Yesterday, I was chilling out on my mom's laptop, and I decided to look at her pictures that were on it. I found a LOT of old photos. Of me.
Man, as a sophomore, I guess  I really had nothing better to do than sit in my room and take pictures of myself. Then again, I really didn't have anything better to do. I didn't really have friends at that point in my life.
But that is besides the point. The point, I'm looking at these pictures (that yes, most I took of myself) and I realized something.
I'm beautiful.
Or was. I'm not so sure. But anyways, I really was a pretty girl, if I do say so myself.
It was interesting to me though. Because back then, I really honestly thought I was ugly. Like, there was nothing "pretty" about me.
But that's also because the "friends" I had tore me apart.
"You're short."
"You're hair is to short."
"You're ugly."
Yes it's true. I've been told all that, and more. And I believed it. Worse. I started noticing every little tiny detail about me, but instead of loving myself for it, I hated myself. For years.
4 years later, though, I look at these photos, and I realize I wasn't ugly. And I'm not trying to sound vain, but I'm realizing that I'm really not.
Isn't that interesting?
It makes me think.
In the moment, you don't think you're attractive. Or good enough for anything. But after a few years, you grow and develop. You take some, you lose some. You're a different person. And you can look back and realize how you really were all those years ago. And you realize you really are beautiful. And you can really say that, because you see how much you change.
I wonder how I will look at the "now me" when I'm the "future me".
Sometimes, I wish I could see myself through different eyes. See how I am. Judge from a different standpoint. I think it would be way different.
I have friends, who are absolutely beautiful. And I'm not just saying that because it's my obligation. They really truly are. And yet, they don't see it themselves. And it's awful, because I know that if they saw themselves the way I did, they wouldn't think that about themselves. They would see themselves as great amazing girls. Girls that can anything that they want. Reach their full potential.
Maybe this is how God feels.